Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name never changes.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans just take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You will never get pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Or you can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100 .
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Ripping one really impresses your grandchildren.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood almost all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and other military things.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra points for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a six-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with big boy and little boy toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can Christmas shop for 25 family members in roughly twenty-five minutes after noon on 24 December before the stores close.
It's no wonder men are normally happier.